I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
be right there i have to get my cape
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
