Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
