found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I said "one day" and that day is not today
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
