If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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