My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
