we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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