it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
