she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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