It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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