You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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