I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
