Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
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I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
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Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.