is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
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Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
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Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.