Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles. http://tfl.nu/o2t1
  Replies (8) Good night (1109) Bad night (2548)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back. http://tfl.nu/jjtt
  Replies (8) Good night (2553) Bad night (906)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs. http://tfl.nu/et1w
  Replies (16) Good night (3753) Bad night (1107)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady. http://tfl.nu/nlis
  Replies (8) Good night (4095) Bad night (1162)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex http://tfl.nu/95h4
  Replies (7) Good night (713) Bad night (1451)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  what do i owe you?

  (1-920): View more from Wisconsin

  $237.46 to be exact.

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): what do i owe you? (1-920): $237.46 to be exact. (920): if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it. http://tfl.nu/pegg
  Replies (9) Good night (2390) Bad night (803)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea. http://tfl.nu/15nf
  Replies (8) Good night (878) Bad night (1503)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (626): I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing. http://tfl.nu/hf05
  Replies (2) Good night (1183) Bad night (780)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies. http://tfl.nu/w2xc
  Replies (5) Good night (958) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (915): Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand. http://tfl.nu/jhm4
  Replies (4) Good night (1263) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE. http://tfl.nu/ysj2
  Replies (13) Good night (1531) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers http://tfl.nu/qabo
  Replies (5) Good night (309) Bad night (498)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever. http://tfl.nu/biva
  Replies (4) Good night (660) Bad night (233)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING http://tfl.nu/no5j
  Replies (1) Good night (667) Bad night (233)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time. http://tfl.nu/3pj1
  Replies (1) Good night (302) Bad night (207)

Randomize