with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”