Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.