great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
