So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
