Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
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