The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
