Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
