just come out here and I will go home with you...
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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