This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
