Even the bartender felt bad for me
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
God I need to hump something, right now.
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