So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
