i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize