i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
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