I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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