its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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