If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
