i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
