i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
