Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
