So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
