Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Randomize
