Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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