i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
