UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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