a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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