Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
