oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
