Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
