Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
