Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
