She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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