What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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