so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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