well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
