sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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