honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
