a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
They are going to name an STD after you.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
