He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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