Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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