dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
