dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
