I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
