Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
