We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
