Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
