I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize