Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
